“How Many Times Do I Have To Ask?”

Does this dialog between a parent and child sound familiar?

Parent: “Time to __________!’

Child: “No!”

Parent: “________ or you will lose screen time!”

Child: “No! I don’t care!”

What if I told you there was another way to get chores accomplished by your child?

Try This dialog

Parent: “Time to ____________!”

Child: “No!”

Parent: “You can __________ now OR you can ___________ after dinner.”

Child: “After dinner.”

—-AFTER DINNER———

Parent: “Time to _________!”

Child: “NO!”

Parent: “You can (shower)___________ now using a new (puff, soap, shampoo) OR shower later with no puff.”

The point of the dialog above is to give an example of how to achieve your ultimate goal, in this case, child to shower, by manipulating the choices your child is allowed to make. Adding incentives (a new puff, new shampoo, or new soap) make the chore more appealing and more likely it will be to get done on your terms. The threat, in this case, getting to use NO puff, is the consequence for the choice the child made to shower “later”. Keeping the consequence relatable to the subject at hand will have a bigger impact than a consequence having nothing to do with the chore. Allowing your child to make choices gives them a sense of control over their environment and works to your advantage. Choices made by the child will be made happily as long as YOU control the choices he makes!!!

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